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This site is a celebration of one of the last bastions of tradition.
"If it's not made traditionally, I don't want to know."
LATEST FAMILY PHOTO - My Long Lost Sister:
Before we go on, lets have a look at at my fine motor:
11 July 2006 - Smiler's revenge
After much one-way teasing, Smiler gets his own back on the webhost!!!
Famous Quotes:
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"Keg beer is Shite, I'd rather drink lager."
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"My tummy says it's time for tea, so lets down tools for Dairylea" - "Not bloody likely, that's Keg cheese, give me Wednesleydale any day - - Baby Bel BABY BEL, rubbish". Kraft Cheese slices didn't even get a comment.
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"Would you like it buttered love?" - "Bloody Keg butter, that's margarine!"
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"What's the fish cooked in?" The chip shop owner in Bowness replied: "Vegetable Oil sir". Our hero replied: "I'll have a pie" *
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"Have you been watching Big Brother?" "WHAT! thats bloody Keg telly, cheap bloody rubbish. Now Minder, The Sweeney and On The Buses - Thats Quality" **
At the time of writing however, Pooer Smiler is still using a Keg Guitar Amplifier. Suggestions of a suitable Cask Valve Amplifier will be made!!
* The author has to agree with him on this one, Fish & Chips tastes far better cooked traditionally in Beef Dripping. Want to try it? Go to Westmorland Fisheries in Skipton.
** Agreed again
Readers, check out some of Pooer Smilers' recent capers below!
Ingleton Update!
As a consequence of Smiler's alfresco toilet capers on the evening of Friday, May 13th / Saturday May 14th, Ingleton Parish Council has had to instigate an emergency programme to greatly increase the capacity of its overloaded sewage system. Acting on a tip off, our undercover correspondent ( S Coop) took these images of the piping required in the early hours of a Sunday, when site security was at a minimum. Ingleton Parish Council must be congratulated on its future proofing policy. This should cope with any sudden extra demand for years to come (see captions).
Phase 1 - Pipes ready
Even Smiler can't block these.....compare them with the cars
That should be big enough!
In Case they run out
Earby to Coniston 13th May 2006
What a journey
One of our correspondents nipped out today (15th) to identify the site. This was quite tricky, as about 300 yards further up the road a tanker had driven off the road and had overturned. The area was surrounded by Police Cars. I'm not sure whether they were there because of the tanker, or that Ingleton Neighbourhood Watch had reported that there was an aroma in the area resembling something deceased. On checking, paper was still in evidence. Obviously, the said driver had caught a whiff before losing control
Kirkby Lonsdale Parish Council maintain this facility near Devils Bridge. They may be forced to think again!
Last port of call before the decision of "which way". The A590 was advised because of its better choice of verges. Thankfully, they weren't required.
Improve your Posture lesson 2
Pooer Smiler asked for some assistance - I didn't think he realised that Mike from the legendary hellraising rock band - "Cliff Rescue and the Helicopters" had other ideas
3gp format - you'll need a player, or put it on your phone - If not, look at MySpace
Saturday 4th June 2005
Pooer Smiler leaves his perfectly good pint of Thwaites Lancaster Bomber
This is of course shocking, as it is fine CASK ale and he DOES know where, and how, it is made as he's been on Hill's brewery trip.
He should expect a visit from Ray Liotta!
Here's one from the archives!
